Fred Thompson Before He Took His MetamucilFred Thompson After

Fred Thompson's Road to the White House

"Fred's agreed to play Dives the rich man in the Christmas

pageant. How about you playing Lazarus, the beggar

covered with sores?"

Rampant Lion Finally Subdued by Fred Thompson Speech

Fred Thompson's attempt to prove he has fire in the belly for

the Presidency ended rather combustibly.

"Mr. Thompson, one observer has said you look like 'a Shar Pei

in a suit'. Would you care to comment on what that could

possibly mean?"

Fred Thompson says he didn't find it at all unusual

that the the plane he has been borrowing from

Philip Martin, a convicted drug dealer,

was piloted by Dick Dastardly.

Fred Thompson and Jeri Kehn to Star as Stanley

and Kay in Remake of Father of the Bride

"Jeebus!" thought the little boy. "This guy's so lazy

even his lymphoma is indolent!"

Land Shark Greets Fred Thompson's

'Joke without a Punchline' Tour

Fred Skinflintstone

Mind in Original Shrinkwrapped Box,

Never Opened

Realizing that most Americans were tired of his Arthur Branch face,

Fred Thompson underwent an extreme makeover and ran for the

Republican presidential nomination as

Spanky McFarland.

Fred Thompson hasn't changed all that much

since he made his first picture in 1932.

Jeri Kehn and Her Trophy Husband

A Mud Fence

Uglier Than a Mud Fence

Fred Thompson kept saying, "Osama bin Laden? No sweat!"

But America could see he was lying.

Fred Thompson Gets Caught Emoting in Iowa

Only the Amazon River has a wider mouth than Fred Thompson.

District Attorney Arthur Branch Condemns Commutation of

Scooter Libby's Sentence; Strongly Criticizes Fred Thompson

for Praising President Bush's Decision