Republican boomers in Iowa are falling like dominoes for

Mike Huckabee

because he reminds them so much of one of their

favorite cartoon characters.

Thought Balloons for Airheads

The descendants of Barney Rubble had seen their fortunes

go steadily downhill ever since the heyday of Bedrock.

"And then I took those wascal CIA torture tapes

and cwushed them in my bare hands!"

"Oops! We've landed Squidward Tentacles.

The kids are going to really be pissed.

Fred Thompson says he didn't find it at all unusual

that the the plane he has been borrowing from

Philip Martin, a convicted drug dealer,

was piloted by Dick Dastardly.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice doesn't look down at

her inferiors. No, she only looks up to her superiors, like

President Bush and

Mrs. Elmer Fudd was all dwessed up for the Daffy Duck Hunt.

Elmer Fudd Says Wascal Wabbit Plotting Fwesh Attacks on

the United States Aimed at Sowing Death and Destwuction

Robert Novak is at it again. This time he has outed

Peter Potamus, an underwater CIA operative.

In the Augie Doggie vs. Doggie Daddy trial, no one knows

for sure how a cat ended up as foreman of the jury.

When Oilcan Harry twirled his moustache,

Mighty Mouse didn't lose his cool.

But when Willi Chevalier twirled his,Mighty Mouse broke into a cold sweat.

"Other than Jimmy Neutron, the only animated character

who gets as many laughs as I do is George Bush. But his show

is scheduled to be cancelled in January, 2009, and, besides, he

has never been Nickelodeon quality. But you already know

that, doncha kid?"

"My friends say I'm a strong murderous beast, with jaws as

powerful as a steel trap and an insatiable appetite for tigers,

lions, elephants, buffaloes, donkeys, giraffes, octopuses,

rhinoceroses, moose, chickens, ducks, and rabbits.

My enemies say I also eat my friends."

If Goofy Had Been a Multibillionaire

Squidward Identified as One of the Conservative Religious

Leaders Who Secretly Visited Vice President Cheney at His

Official Residence at the Bottom of the Sargasso Sea

"By my calculation, Speed, if we push the Mach 5 to the limit,

we can drop Pops' pants off at the cleaners, pick up some

bananas for Chim Chim at Wal-Mart, take Spritle to baseball

practice, have Sparky change the oil, stop at the post office

to mail Trixie's birthday card, and still beat Racer X to the

finish line by, say, a good five to ten hundredths of a second."

Speedy Gonzales

Seedy Gonzales

"I think all intelligent, patriotic and informed people

can agree," writes Jonah Goldberg: "It would be great if

the U.S. could find an Iraqi Strong Bad."

The puma cub and Hobbes were getting along just fine,

and then Calvin showed up.