Joe Klein could blame his deficiencies as a journalist on the

fact that his wife, Victoria, is a witch. But we all know that

belief in witches began to go out of fashion in the 18th century.

So, it seems Joe will have to find a more modern excuse, like,

for instance, "I write for Time magazine."

Warhawk Loses Perch at Time, Is Forced to

Find Another Way to Feather Nest

Time Names Monica 'Goodling of the Year'

Whatever you do, do not flatter Rick Stengel,

Time's managing editor. Why? Because he

wrote the book on it --- You're Too Kind:

A Brief History of Flattery.

If we still had Superman around to fight the never ending

battle for truth, justice, and the American way, here's what

Joe Klein would be doing right now.

Priscilla Painton, a Deputy Managing Editor at Time,

is responsible for giving the imprimatur to Joe Klein's

falsifications. Her boss is Richard Stengel, whose

specialty is the 'inculpable noncorrection'.

"Some people believe I'm Rick Stengel, Time's Managing

Editor, but some people don't. As a paragon of journalistic

objectivity, that's all I can say."

Would you buy a used car from somebody who looks

like Joe Klein? Beg pardon, but was that a 'No' or a

'Hell No!'?

Time Sued for Journalistic Malpractice;

Editor Denies Magazine Practices Journalism

Do you remember the gaffe that ended Don Imus'

radio career? You don't? Well, as the saying goes,

"Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels."

Veepenstein #6

The Baron couldn't have cared less if he was called

Hemorrhoidus Maximus, so long as he appeared on

the cover of Time.

Time's Rick Stengel is so full of himself that if he were any

fuller, he would turn inside out and become an empty suit.

Remember when Michael Kinsley was one of the

best left-of-center thinkers and writers in America?

Ah, those were the days.

Tearfully, this week's Time laments, "Conservatives are gloomy.

The Republican candidates are struggling. Can the party reclaim

Reagan's legacy?" For crying out loud, today's conservatives and

the Republican Party ARE Reagan's legacy!

Matt Cooper, formerly a reporter for Time,

has learned the hard way that if you see

Karl Rove headed in your direction, run

away as fast as you can.

When Jay Carney, Time's Washington Bureau Chief,

had multiple errors in one of his recent pieces pointed

out to him, he responded, "The left is as full of unthinking

Ditto-heads as Limbaugh-land." And then he and his wife,

Claire Shipman, hurried off to another private party at Andalu.

Two-Legged Freak