When Ann Coulter's father died, she had to hire professional

mourners from Taiwan. Given her political proclivity, they

came appropriately dressed.

"When Ms. Coulter arrives, the first thing she'll do is

ask you to forget Andrew Stein, her ex-boyfriend. Say

that you have. Then she will tell you her father is now

in heaven with Joe McCarthy. Congratulate her for

having such a right-thinking old man. But when she

asks you to remove one of your purple gloves and

fondle her balls, don't do it. The last guy who did is

still wandering in the Empty Doom."

American Sideshow

1927

Eighty Years Later

Say what you will about Ann Coulter's brain. But there

is only one word that accurately describes the design

of her body, and that word is: 'unintelligent'.

"On this, Ann Coulter and I agree: women are so stupid

they shouldn't be allowed to vote."

If Ann Coulter Were a Cat

If Rush Limbaugh Were a Dog

The Butterfly Effect

The Ann Coulter Effect

And if Ann Coulter had any brains, she wouldn't

identify with any political party.

Electromicrograph of an Ann Coulter Fagocyte

Ann Coulter's new line of men's fragrances, A Hard Man Is

Good to Find, is a big hit with the drag queens of Cologne.

On Monday, Ann Coulter set a new personal record while

commenting on the Petraeus hearing for Fox News. In less

than 45 seconds, she was able to say the mainstream media

and the Democrats are "completely treasonous," they "hate

the troops," they "think the troops are a bunch of illiterate,

toothless rapists," and "they are rooting for al Qaeda."

Afterwards, Ms. Coulter said that with more practice,

she could shave at least 15 seconds off her new record.

"Pssst, Ann! Have you ever heard what The

Book of Mormon says about ectomorphs?"

Senator John Edwards says calling Ann Coulter a

'she-devil' was just a slip of the tongue. "I meant

to say 'he-devil'."

Ann Coulter was all smiles when she was presented with a

Doc Johnson Highjoy Internet-Enabled Rabbit Vibrator

on the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

Were it not for the gutter, Ann Coulter

would be homeless.

When Jesus saw the cross hanging from Ann Coulter's

neck, He realized He had died in vain and vowed to

never come again.

NBC's David Gregory says if you strip away her inflammatory

rhetoric, the point Ann Coulter is trying to make about John

Edwards is that "he has been disingenuous about the size of

his tallywhacker."

"Some people have criticized me for having Adolf Hitler

on Hardball. Say what you will, he's hot and he sells books,

just like Ann Coulter.”

Every time Manuel Quiroz sees Ann Coulter's face on TV,

he punishes himself by squeezing habanero pepper juice

into his eyes.

“If I’m going to say anything about John Edwards in the future,

I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.

And I'm sure if it happens, I will be invited to narrate the event,

right here on Good Morning America.”