Next Generation with the National Debt on Its Back

"Grecian Formula, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Fearguth Reaches a Milestone: Post 5,280

Things began to look up the day the talking head

talked and nobody listened.

In the movie, My Big Fat Iraq Fuckup, this is

the scene where Tony throttles George.

Tommy Haas was so hungry he began to

gnaw on one of his balls.

"Which was dumber, Tony: me breaking my wrist on

the set, or you joining the Bush Administration as

press secretary?"

It's surprising what you can accomplish

when you give up sex.

Little Girl Reacts When Hillary Says She Didn't Know

Norman Hsu Was a Crook

"Zeke, I told you to lay off the fabric softener.

Now look at you!"

No doubt about it: somebody had knocked the

stuffing out of Fatih Solak.

Elephant Sit-Down Strike Enters Third Week

World's Worst Yobs #18

John Hinderaker

Why War Is Bad #2

It creates more places for pigeons to nest.

President Bush in Closed-Door Meeting Today with Joint Chiefs

"You didn't ask for my opinion, but I'll give it to you anyway.

We dragonflies would rather eat mosquitoes than read what

David Ignatius has to say in The Washington Post."

"You must understand that not all voters are created equal.

Mr. al-Maliki was only elected by the Iraqi people. I am being

elected by U. S. Senators and the CIA."

"Any sign of the stork yet, dear?"

Serena Changes Name to Passionata

Jiang Musheng claims eating live frogs works better

than Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra. He says the only side

effect is he sometimes feels a little jumpy.

George Bush has hired a prominent author to assist him

in writing a memoir of his years as President of the United

States. When published, the title will be My Pet Ghost.

Sometimes an umbrella is the world's greatest invention.

Sometimes it isn't.

The Unexpurgated Bible #2

Archaeologists Excavating Mt. Ararat Uncover Unfinished

Ark; Discovery Suggests Noah Was a Slacker; Find May Also

Explain Why the Post-Diluvian World Has Turned Out

So Badly

"If you said, 'George Bush can take his request for another

$50 billion for the Iraq War and shove it up his ass!', I hear

you. If you didn't, say again."

Naked Celibates Misspell 'Nookie'

President Bush tried to park his Legacy in New Orleans today,

but he couldn't because the parking space was still under water.

It was at the picnic Monica Goodling first saw the light,

namely, that 'It's not what you know but who you know'

was not only the philosophical foundation of the Bush

Administration but was also the secret of her success.

Observers say it won't be too hard to fill Alberto Gonzales' shoes.

"Tony, I have an idea. Break your wrist, I'll sign your

cast, auction it on eBay, and then maybe you'll have

enough money to tide you over until the end of the

Bush Administration."

George Bush and Karl Rove, Two Men Who

Will Go Down, Down, Down in History

Venus Williams Rendered À La Marcel Duchamp

Carnivorous Slinky Goes on Rampage

Low Riders

Lower Riders

President Bush As We Will Remember Him

"Mustn't .. fail .. field .. sobriety .. test.

Walk ..... and ..... Turn."

Still Life with Presidential Limousine and Street Sweeper

"I am not gay. I never have been gay. I'm sure all my friends

in the gay and lesbian community are relieved to hear that."

Chongqing, China has made a bid to host the 2008

Republican National Convention. Backers of the bid

point out that the city is the site of the world's largest

public restroom: 1,000 toilets in a building four-stories

tall with over 32,000 square feet. A spokesman for the

city says, "We are spreading toilet culture. Republicans

can listen to gentle music, make friends, and watch TV.

After they use the bathroom, they will be very, very happy."

Marianne and the goat were getting long just fine

until she uttered the word, "cabrito."

"Larry Craig is a supremely arrogant, lying crapweasel."

"Hey, what's my picture doing on the front page of

USA Yesterday?"

Portrait of Mahmoud Abbas Kidnapped,

Held at Gunpoint

Booking Photos of Senator Larry 'Widetrack' Craig

"I've got an idea. Why not make Skeletor Attorney General?

That way he can do for the Justice Department what he

did for New Orleans."

"Mark my word! I'm the Fearmonger-in-Chief. It's in

the Constitution. You can look it up."

You've heard of 'writer's cramp'. Well, there's

one for golf, too.

Man Trying to Find His Way Back to Square One

"OK, my fellow Republicans, it's time to decline 'Ho'.

I Da Ho.

You Da Ho.

We Da Ho.

Any questions?"